Camping alone, not a soul in sight, allowing my fears to be woven into something comforting and beautiful.
I’ve always wanted to do a vision quest, preferably in Africa as I’ve met a few people who say it was life-changing…this is not that extreme, no hyenas creeping out the bushes (lol) and I’m camping in my bus, however a necessary taste of being with oneself in the wilderness, more stillness, the mind chatter that comes with this and the unknown that lies in the dark as the sun sets (my biggest fear).
I challenged myself in many ways; walked through thick long grass carrying Teddy to get to the river for a swim to cool off (another fear of mine is snakes, even though I know they are probably more scared of me than I of them!), struggled down steep slippery slopes to the river, cried a few times as I’ve processed ‘stuff’, shouted like a banshee into the open field at frustrations and injustices I see in our world…allowing them to be expressed and released and welcoming in compassion for self and the world.
I’ve danced at sunset with such a sense of liberation and joy for this beautiful land, moving my body like I haven’t in a long time under a huge expansive sky to my ‘Mum’ playlist made for me by my son of all my favourite songs when he was growing up. I’ve sung SO loudly, lay under the magnificent tree I’m camped under and gazed lovingly at her gnarled branches to the sky above, the mind sometimes busy and sometimes mindfully allowing those thoughts to pass into stillness. I’ve meditated, built my fires without firefighters (haha), cooked delicious healthy meals on the fire and listened to the silence and aliveness of the bush.
What has supported me the most is the artwork I’ve woven using natural yarns and 2 interesting sticks I’ve connected to while walking in nature. The act of mindfully weaving my fears into my creations, using delicious colours, not only helped me to therapeutically rest my mind in the art but also to witness my fears transforming into something comforting and beautiful. The preciousness of Art Therapy for myself.
I have such appreciation for Mother Earth, her healing nourishing offerings and the simple pleasures that cost little. Oh yes. And Ted, my Cobber dog.
Less ‘doing’ and more ‘being’…present with no expectation to achieve anything; simply allowing what needs to happen to unfold…this is the beauty of Creative Art Therapy.
I asked for some time alone, however, I didn’t expect it to be SO alone (only 3 campsites here and I’m the only camper). It is exactly what I’ve needed to rest, re-calibrate and grow my courage.